Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Ennie, Meenie, Minie Moe....

Crossroads... Ever been there? You sit there singing the childhood tune "ennie meenie minee moe..." praying you chose the right one. There seems to be no right or wrong choice and you just wish God would hurry up and figure out how to text so He could inform you on your direct line which choice to make. I am sitting in the middle of a fork in the road trying to chose the right one.

This week has been somewhat of an emotionally roller coaster. I am not at one fork, but several. I can tell my Prince is beckoning me into a season of depending upon Him more then ever before. These choices are just the beginning. The other issues is some of them are timing issues. As I try to discern timing for the different decisions, I feel like I am spinning around in circles until I am dizzy and can't tell one from another. I want to run ahead of myself and jump into the season that is four steps ahead of me.

The major fork is the job fork {is it bad that I am picturing a fork stuck into a resume?}. A fork that most people come to multiple times in there life usually. In the past it has not been so crucial for me to find a job, but this time around I need to find a job. Money is dwindling and as I check my bank account the panic begins to well up in me. My parents came to me and informed me that it was time for this Princess to move toward financial independence. {I did my best to buck up and accept the adult responsibility that I knew was coming} The irony is I knew it was coming. God has been preparing me for it through conversations with different people in my life. {imagine that??} Now I cannot say that I entirely disagree with them. I can't depend on them forever and honestly do not want to. I think there is a time and a place for a child to leave their parents. This happens to be my moment. Looking for a job as a "soon to be graduate" is challenging. I don't quite have that piece of paper to prove I did something for four {almost five} years. Not to mention I look in the mirror and I can't picture what I see myself doing. So I wait, for God to slap me with divine revelation. And yet somehow I don't foresee it looking like that. {dang it}

The other issue is this Princess is antsy. You know when you need/want something so badly that you are anxious to make the next step? But then you look and there isn't even a choice yet?? Yup, that is where I am at. I am in a place where I do not even have a job opportunity so I do not even have a choice. So I am trying to be patient and wait. I am trying to be patient and pray. Both things that I think are important, but the pressure of having it figured out is getting to me. And then God spoke to me. Not it an audible booming voice, but through His Words. The shot straight to my heart like an arrow straight from Him.

Isaiah 43:1-2 says "But now, thus says the Lord, who created you, O Jacob, And He who formed you, O Israel: 'Fear not, for I have redeemed you, I have called you by name; You are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you."

The redemption of my life is something I can see clearly. Just looking at that shows me His love. I adore that He calls me His. He whispers "Erin, you are mine." Eeek {must be the single girl in me-butterflies}. But the next part is what really gets me. "When I pass through the waters" He promises that they will NOT overflow me. Right now I feel pretty in over my head. I feel like the flood waters have rushed in and I am swimming, struggling towards the surface. But He says He will be with me. Ah!! My Prince carrying me through the flood {more like coming in with a life boat}and walking me through the fire. So tonight I am resting in the peace that He is there leading me through what's to come. My Prince will not let me drown.

So as I wait to play ennie, mennie, minie moe, I will anticipate that He will lead me down the right fork {resume included}...

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Excitement after She Speaks

Hello friends: I do not know where to begin. I am really quite overwhelmed and am still recovering from airport drama. [I will tell you about that later] This past weekend at She Speaks was more then I could have ever anticipated. I went expecting to see God in ways that I had not before. I prayed that I would be a light for Him and that I would come home with one new friend. That prayer was answered in so many ways. He blew my expectations out of the water. My Prince gave me gift after gift after gift all weekend. [I just wanted to do my happy dance] I left the hotel overflowing with joy and renewed vision.

Imagine, six hundred talented beautiful women sitting in one place waiting upon Him. That was what this weekend was. I looked around me with joy to see my follow Jesus' Princess' waiting upon Him. Each woman was so beautiful. They each had so much to offer and share. I talked to these amazing women who continued to amaze me. Ever single person I met had a vision of chasing after Him. I kept thinking "Wow Jesus, you want me here?" Never, ever underestimate the plan that your Prince has for You. It is always much more then you can imagine. :)

I loved meeting the girls over at She Seeks, a branch of P31 Ministries directly for 20 something girls like me. They write fabulous devotions and I did not expect to meet them. You see with 600 women I was not sure if I would even see them. Oh man. Jesus boxed them right up tied a big purple bow and allowed me to meet them all. These beautiful women are women that inspired, nurtured, loved and encouraged me through my wanderings in the past year without knowing it. I would pour over their blogs, devotions and vlogs (video blogs) in great anticipation of hearing from my Beloved Prince. These women were real. They talked about the issues I faced and the struggles of wandering through life. But they were my friends when I had none. Yes, I realize having virtual friends sounds strange, but when you don't have a single person your own age to relate to, calling your or talking to you it is a big deal. I would venture that I am not the only woman that has felt that way about these beautiful women. If you haven't checked them out, You HAVE to [click home to check them out]. I loved them long before I met them and they are even more lovely in person. They each encouraged me and listened to me and I would be silly not to note that secretly I was star struck.

Another thing I absolutely loved was watching the different women speak. I went there hungry to learn how to publicly share God's heart with people. These women were polished and real. The best part was they were relatable. I watched Lysa Terkeurst, Micca Campbell,Karen Ehman,Marybeth Whalen and Renee Swope share their heart. I learned so much from their wisdom on how to reach an audience. God spoke through those women. My Prince quietly whispered and reminded me of things that we had be working through and thinking about the last couple months. It was moving.

The girls in my Speaking Evaluation group were so inspiring. They had such beautiful stories that captivated and touched each of us. Such strong women who have experienced so much. What I love is that they are eager to share with everyone the ways the Jesus has changed it all.

Oh there is so much more this Princess could say. I might bore you to tears with what could be the world longest blog post. I am so so excited about it all!!! I will continue to share the things I experienced and God put on my heart. But right now I am being called to laundry, job searching, nannying and preparing for my girls bible study!! Oh God is so good!!!