Excitement after She Speaks

Hello friends: I do not know where to begin. I am really quite overwhelmed and am still recovering from airport drama. [I will tell you about that later] This past weekend at She Speaks was more then I could have ever anticipated. I went expecting to see God in ways that I had not before. I prayed that I would be a light for Him and that I would come home with one new friend. That prayer was answered in so many ways. He blew my expectations out of the water. My Prince gave me gift after gift after gift all weekend. [I just wanted to do my happy dance] I left the hotel overflowing with joy and renewed vision.

Imagine, six hundred talented beautiful women sitting in one place waiting upon Him. That was what this weekend was. I looked around me with joy to see my follow Jesus' Princess' waiting upon Him. Each woman was so beautiful. They each had so much to offer and share. I talked to these amazing women who continued to amaze me. Ever single person I met had a vision of chasing after Him. I kept thinking "Wow Jesus, you want me here?" Never, ever underestimate the plan that your Prince has for You. It is always much more then you can imagine. :)

I loved meeting the girls over at She Seeks, a branch of P31 Ministries directly for 20 something girls like me. They write fabulous devotions and I did not expect to meet them. You see with 600 women I was not sure if I would even see them. Oh man. Jesus boxed them right up tied a big purple bow and allowed me to meet them all. These beautiful women are women that inspired, nurtured, loved and encouraged me through my wanderings in the past year without knowing it. I would pour over their blogs, devotions and vlogs (video blogs) in great anticipation of hearing from my Beloved Prince. These women were real. They talked about the issues I faced and the struggles of wandering through life. But they were my friends when I had none. Yes, I realize having virtual friends sounds strange, but when you don't have a single person your own age to relate to, calling your or talking to you it is a big deal. I would venture that I am not the only woman that has felt that way about these beautiful women. If you haven't checked them out, You HAVE to [click home to check them out]. I loved them long before I met them and they are even more lovely in person. They each encouraged me and listened to me and I would be silly not to note that secretly I was star struck.

Another thing I absolutely loved was watching the different women speak. I went there hungry to learn how to publicly share God's heart with people. These women were polished and real. The best part was they were relatable. I watched Lysa Terkeurst, Micca Campbell,Karen Ehman,Marybeth Whalen and Renee Swope share their heart. I learned so much from their wisdom on how to reach an audience. God spoke through those women. My Prince quietly whispered and reminded me of things that we had be working through and thinking about the last couple months. It was moving.

The girls in my Speaking Evaluation group were so inspiring. They had such beautiful stories that captivated and touched each of us. Such strong women who have experienced so much. What I love is that they are eager to share with everyone the ways the Jesus has changed it all.

Oh there is so much more this Princess could say. I might bore you to tears with what could be the world longest blog post. I am so so excited about it all!!! I will continue to share the things I experienced and God put on my heart. But right now I am being called to laundry, job searching, nannying and preparing for my girls bible study!! Oh God is so good!!!

Pride-It Knocked Me off my High Horse

Let me tell you about something that give you a peak at my oh so selfish nature. You see this Princess nearly gets her tiara knocked right off her head because of PRIDE. Oh yes, pride. That nasty five letter word is something I just realized I have been working on for months. Hmm.. what a revelation (writing generally pulls my thoughts all together). Anyways, I have been in this deep season of spiritual growth that honestly takes it right out of me. But about a month ago when things began to improve and life was a little less dreary, I began to think "Look at me, I am making it through this." A fine thing to think, I feel, assuming it doesn't go to your head. Well this Princess began shining her tiara a little too soon and her hair got a little too big because WHAM, I got knocked straight off my high horse. Let me tell you.

God had plans. Plans I was not even expecting. Upon a divine appointment I was prayed for by this couple at a service at my church. It was a Wednesday night service for those who had a hunger to go deeper in this series we had. Harmless right? I wanted to increase my faith and when I asked God who I should have pray over me He did not hesitate to reveal that to me. So, with anticipation in my heart I stepped straight into this divine appointment not knowing it would involve a nice fall off of my horse. Unbeknownst to me I had gotten very comfortable on this stallion of mine. I felt like I was running through an open meadow controlling towards the sunset in freedom. Oh no, God had different plans. This man who prayed over me happened to be a pastoral counselor and the words that him and his lovely wife spoke over me moved my heart. The hunger for more of sweet Jesus began. Upon being invited for yet more counseling by this kind pastor I made an appointment. Innocent, and still on my horse I arrive. I was excited to share with him how far I had come in this battle that I had been waging. Emphasis on the "I". Forgetting to acknowledge that I was literally carried out of the woods by My Prince Jesus. So I expose to Pastor where I have been and how I felt like I was making huge improvements. I was feeling like I was arriving in this new place that came with a whole lot more stability (to a point). Pastor hands me this piece of paper with his eyes shining and says "I want you to work through these scriptures. Determine if you believe the truth, or if you have replaced it with a lie." This list long list with tiny font is a list of "Who I am in Christ". No big deal, right? A growing gal like me should fly through this list. Being my eager, type A, determined personality I rush home and sit in my prayer closet and think "Jesus, I know I have made so much growth. I can't wait to get into this. I am sure that I believe most of these things on this list."

BAM!!! There it was. The moment I should have stopped teasing my hair. I let go of the reigns and the horse bucked me off. As I sailed through the air, my tiara got tangled up in my huge hair sprayed hair as I hit the ground with a nice thud. The first five verses I dug into I did not truly believe. It was here I was able to see my pride. My veil of pride was removed and humility sunk in.

I realized that I am not the reason I am growing. I am not the reason I am where I am today. He is. And yes, I am growing into the woman of God I want to be, but none of it has been done alone by my power. In that moment I again bowed down before my Prince and let Him place my crown back on my head. I am not His Princess on my own accord, ability or performance. No, he chose me. He walks with me. He leads me and sometimes carries me. And thankfully He continues to teach me.

Humility is a powerful thing. Pride leads to selfish state. When I try to walk into the wilderness alone it never goes well. Pride is the beginning of that. So with a small window into the beginning of the journey I will share here through a computer screen. The growth started with a fall that lead to my Prince reaching down and lifting me up. Are you willing to take his hand?

Jesus- I pray for the people that stumble onto this page. May to you be the glory. My journey has been carefully crafted, redirected and redeemed by You. May others see the dangers of pride and experience the power of growth in humility.

Out of the Forest

"Come to me, all you who are wary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Matthew 11:26-30
So I have really neglected my blog lately. Why? Jesus and I have been doing some serious work. You see He called me into this season of resting and healing, which can I say for a type A busy body Princess like me it has been more then difficult. Back in March I was really struggling on account I was trying to perform for people in this world. I became so consumed with pleasing people that I failed to notice I was hiking through thistles, bushes and headed straight towards a cliff. YIKES! I really missed out on the path my Prince had so kindly cleared for me. Instead this Princess forged a trail of her own tearing her dress and losing her shoes on the way. Did I mention I was toting like six suitcases of stuff for my self proclaimed adventure? This Princess probably had her tiara on backwards for several months like a baseball cap taking my royalty in His Kingdom not so seriously. You see I stuck my royal nose in the air and decided I did not need my Father to help me out. I felt that my path was going to work just fine. Needless to say I got a glimpse at myself. My tiara was beyond tilted. My dress run ragged and my adorable shoes, gone. I was a mess. Luckily for me my Prince was not far off. He does that you know? Watches me even when I think I know what I am doing. Instead of kicking and screaming and throwing a royal fit when He gently informed me that He knew a better way. Overwhelmed with relief that I did not have to climb down the cliff face I had just approached I dropped my luggage and let Him hold me. Now I was a blubbering, mascara all off, having a terrible hair day Princess. But the good news was that I was safely resting in His arms.
Emotionally and spiritually this is what I had been doing. I won't rehash what the last seven or so months have been like for me. Maybe one day if my Prince wants me to write it down I will, but I will save you the heartache for now. Perhaps you have been there. Your Prince has cleared a trail for you and yet you decide that you want to go another way. In the process you experienced bruising, cuts, scrapes and a tattered wardrobe. Denying that you are royalty and that there has to be a better way. The great thing, Jesus was right there waiting for me to return. He wooed me back to Him. I must say it was a relief for me that I did not have to go back through that forest to find Him. He led me back to the path of the righteous and even carried my luggage for me. (He is such a gentleman). Anyways, I can say I am safely being led by my Prince who has a map and not by my stubborn map less self.
But I can't skip the important part of this beautiful story. Yes, my Prince rescued me. Yes, I am back into my beautiful gown, shoes and fabulous royal accessories ;). But that took some time for my Prince and I. That time is what I am going to tell you about.
When I finally handed over my heavy burden and let my Prince carry me home I was a wounded girl. Out in the wild wilderness I had built up some defense mechanisms (something like swinging a tree branch, very effective), gotten some bruises and deep cuts. These wounds were the wounds of my experiences, emotions, and worse the lies of the enemy. Out in the wilderness I listened to the wrong voice. I began hearing, "look at you, He will never take you back." Or "do you know what you have done? You will always be like that." The enemy whispered to my soul and honestly I listened to him. I was becoming worn, tattered and broken. The worst lie he fed me was "look at you in that ragged, torn up dress. You will have to change to be desired by Him." I began to build my perception of who I was off of a web of lies. Shame filled my heart. I believed my tiara had been given to me by mistake.
Oh how wrong I was. When my Prince scooped me up and held me He took away my burdens and he led me to a place of rest. Since then the truth slowly began to penetrate my heart. By still waters I was able to begin to see myself for who I was. He opened my eyes to my beauty. Jesus washed and bandaged each of my wounds. My rags were exchanged for beautiful royal gowns. Robbed from me in the forest by the enemy my trust had been stolen. But the gentleness of Jesus' words He won me over.
How did this happen? I began to pursue who I am in Christ. I received a complied list of verses of who I am in Him and began working through the list a verse at a time. I would sit and meditate on each verse and try to decide if I believe the verse as truth about myself or if I had replaced it with a lie. This painful process revealed many of the lies that I had been repeating to my soul. I realized that I did not sit in a place of truth, but instead I dwelled in the lies that I had chosen to believe. One by one with the help of my Prince the lies were extracted. Each was replaced with a seed of truth. Honestly I am still in the process of doing this. It is timely, but so worth it. I am beginning to see the Princess that I am. Do you know who you are in Christ? The next couple weeks I am going to try to blog the process I have been walking through in hopes that maybe someone will benefit from the discoveries my Prince has given me. It has been a beautiful at at times painful journey. Join me and we can clean out those messy hearts of ours.

I know now that Jesus wants so much more for each of his Princesses. He desires freedom in truth. So turn to Him. His arms are open for you. He will accept you no matter where you are and let him carry all those suitcases filled with shoes, dresses and things that weigh you down.

Jesus-

I want to be set free. Let me run back into your open arms. I know you are waiting to carry my heavy burdens and lead me to a place of rest and restoration. Only with you will I discover the Princess that I truly am. I love you and am sorry that I have tried to make my own path. Please forgive me. Thank you for cleaning and dressing my wounds and bringing me to a place where I can begin to see myself as you do.

A 21st Century Jesus

"How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!" Psalm 119:103

I am new to this blogging world. I have been a quiet observer for about four months, and I love the encouraging messages that different bloggers share. It seems that often times my heart hears just what it needs to. The power of seeing Jesus move through the text on a computer screen gives me chills at times. Occasionally I wonder what Jesus' ministry would have looked like in a modern setting. Had he walked the Earth today would he send mass text messages and be followed on YouTube? Perhaps, He would have a Blog sharing parables where people could connect to His message. I cannot help but smile when I think about a 21st century tech savvy Jesus. Do I believe He could have done it? Definitely. But I do think that there is something beautiful about the ministry He had when He walked the Earth. He had something I think we miss out on at times in the age of technology.

Jesus' ministry was filled with relationship. People followed Him. Not on Twitter, or Facebook. They walked along side Him. Engaged in conversation that was life changing. He spent time in different people's homes. He traveled and shared in life changing conversations with people that He loved. Jesus healed, inspired faith, mentored, rebuked the enemy and challenged the Pharisee's in a very personal way. Through conversation. Am I arguing that the blog world is an impersonal place? In some ways it is. But I will say that the 21st century is at times devoid of relationship because of the constant connection we each have to those we are already engaged in friendship with. We have become comfortable not reaching out to new people we meet. I joke that I have more of a relationship with my cell phone and lap top at times than with my friends and family.

A couple months ago, I was sitting in a sermon that talked about what would happen if we treated the Word of God like a cell phone. I laughed at first but the reality is my cell phone is a very important part of my life. It connects me to the world. Through it I communicate with friends and family. It is in some ways essential and ironically I feel like something is missing without it by my side. In the sermon we were challenged to think about how we treated the technology in our life and apply that to how we treat our Bible. Whoa! Here are some ways I treat my cell phone:
-If I leave it at home I will turn around and get it.
-I check it multiple times a day.
-I sleep with it next to my bed.
-It is the last thing I look at when I go to sleep and the first thing I look at in the morning.
-I use it to prioritize and organize my life.
-I use it to connect with people.
-At times it draws me away from the world around me.

These are just a few of the ways that a cell phone plays into my life. Okay, so now apply that list to my Bible. (This was a convicting sermon). Do I turn around and go back to my house to get my bible because I cannot be without it for even 10 minutes? Do I check my bible multiple times a day? Do I sleep with it next to my bed? Is it the last thing I look at in the evening and the first thing I look at in the morning? Do I use my Bible to prioritize and organize my life? Do I seek the Word to connect with people? Do I let my Bible draw me away from the world around me?

I wish I could say that my Bible was as much of a priority as my cell phone is most days. I can't help but ask myself what my relationship with God would be like if I treated my Bible like my cell phone. I know that this sermon convicted me with some of the 21st century priorities that did not plague people even 15 years ago. However, I still feel that in some ways the age of technology has some benefits. I love reading people's blogs and connecting with people half way across the country. I like the reality that a friend can always get a hold of me if they need me. But I do not want technology to become something that overshadows my relationship with my King.

Since I heard that sermon the way I view my Bible has changed. I now look at it as the main way to connect with Jesus. My idea of the Bible has really been stretched. Honestly, I cannot go anywhere without it. When I do not have it I miss it. I believe if I did forget it I would turn around in my car to get it. While I still am working on looking to it to enhance my relationships and every day decisions, I am glad that God has grown my heart.

So the question is, how do you view your Bible? Is it a necessity in your life? Is it something that you cannot stand to leave behind? Is it as important as your cell phone, Blackberry, or computer? How does the way you view your bible effect your relationship with the Prince of Peace?

Jesus-
I pray that I can continue to connect with you. I desire to pursue you more then I do some of the blogs, websites and technological devices in my life. I want to treat you like I often treat my cell phone. I desire to value your word and relationship more then anything else. May you become my main priority and passion. In Jesus name I pray- Amen