Monday, June 7, 2010

Out of the Forest

"Come to me, all you who are wary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Matthew 11:26-30
So I have really neglected my blog lately. Why? Jesus and I have been doing some serious work. You see He called me into this season of resting and healing, which can I say for a type A busy body Princess like me it has been more then difficult. Back in March I was really struggling on account I was trying to perform for people in this world. I became so consumed with pleasing people that I failed to notice I was hiking through thistles, bushes and headed straight towards a cliff. YIKES! I really missed out on the path my Prince had so kindly cleared for me. Instead this Princess forged a trail of her own tearing her dress and losing her shoes on the way. Did I mention I was toting like six suitcases of stuff for my self proclaimed adventure? This Princess probably had her tiara on backwards for several months like a baseball cap taking my royalty in His Kingdom not so seriously. You see I stuck my royal nose in the air and decided I did not need my Father to help me out. I felt that my path was going to work just fine. Needless to say I got a glimpse at myself. My tiara was beyond tilted. My dress run ragged and my adorable shoes, gone. I was a mess. Luckily for me my Prince was not far off. He does that you know? Watches me even when I think I know what I am doing. Instead of kicking and screaming and throwing a royal fit when He gently informed me that He knew a better way. Overwhelmed with relief that I did not have to climb down the cliff face I had just approached I dropped my luggage and let Him hold me. Now I was a blubbering, mascara all off, having a terrible hair day Princess. But the good news was that I was safely resting in His arms.
Emotionally and spiritually this is what I had been doing. I won't rehash what the last seven or so months have been like for me. Maybe one day if my Prince wants me to write it down I will, but I will save you the heartache for now. Perhaps you have been there. Your Prince has cleared a trail for you and yet you decide that you want to go another way. In the process you experienced bruising, cuts, scrapes and a tattered wardrobe. Denying that you are royalty and that there has to be a better way. The great thing, Jesus was right there waiting for me to return. He wooed me back to Him. I must say it was a relief for me that I did not have to go back through that forest to find Him. He led me back to the path of the righteous and even carried my luggage for me. (He is such a gentleman). Anyways, I can say I am safely being led by my Prince who has a map and not by my stubborn map less self.
But I can't skip the important part of this beautiful story. Yes, my Prince rescued me. Yes, I am back into my beautiful gown, shoes and fabulous royal accessories ;). But that took some time for my Prince and I. That time is what I am going to tell you about.
When I finally handed over my heavy burden and let my Prince carry me home I was a wounded girl. Out in the wild wilderness I had built up some defense mechanisms (something like swinging a tree branch, very effective), gotten some bruises and deep cuts. These wounds were the wounds of my experiences, emotions, and worse the lies of the enemy. Out in the wilderness I listened to the wrong voice. I began hearing, "look at you, He will never take you back." Or "do you know what you have done? You will always be like that." The enemy whispered to my soul and honestly I listened to him. I was becoming worn, tattered and broken. The worst lie he fed me was "look at you in that ragged, torn up dress. You will have to change to be desired by Him." I began to build my perception of who I was off of a web of lies. Shame filled my heart. I believed my tiara had been given to me by mistake.
Oh how wrong I was. When my Prince scooped me up and held me He took away my burdens and he led me to a place of rest. Since then the truth slowly began to penetrate my heart. By still waters I was able to begin to see myself for who I was. He opened my eyes to my beauty. Jesus washed and bandaged each of my wounds. My rags were exchanged for beautiful royal gowns. Robbed from me in the forest by the enemy my trust had been stolen. But the gentleness of Jesus' words He won me over.
How did this happen? I began to pursue who I am in Christ. I received a complied list of verses of who I am in Him and began working through the list a verse at a time. I would sit and meditate on each verse and try to decide if I believe the verse as truth about myself or if I had replaced it with a lie. This painful process revealed many of the lies that I had been repeating to my soul. I realized that I did not sit in a place of truth, but instead I
dwelled in the lies that I had chosen to believe. One by one with the help of my Prince the lies were extracted. Each was replaced with a seed of truth. Honestly I am still in the process of doing this. It is timely, but so worth it. I am beginning to see the Princess that I am. Do you know who you are in Christ? The next couple weeks I am going to try to blog the process I have been walking through in hopes that maybe someone will benefit from the discoveries my Prince has given me. It has been a beautiful at at times painful journey. Join me and we can clean out those messy hearts of ours.
I know now that Jesus wants so much more for each of his Princesses. He desires freedom in truth. So turn to Him. His arms are open for you. He will accept you no matter where you are and let him carry all those suitcases filled with shoes, dresses and things that weigh you down.

I want to be set free. Let me run back into your open arms. I know you are waiting to carry my heavy burdens and lead me to a place of rest and restoration. Only with you will I discover the Princess that I truly am. I love you and am sorry that I have tried to make my own path. Please forgive me. Thank you for cleaning and dressing my wounds and bringing me to a place where I can begin to see myself as you do.

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