Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Ennie, Meenie, Minie Moe....

Crossroads... Ever been there? You sit there singing the childhood tune "ennie meenie minee moe..." praying you chose the right one. There seems to be no right or wrong choice and you just wish God would hurry up and figure out how to text so He could inform you on your direct line which choice to make. I am sitting in the middle of a fork in the road trying to chose the right one.

This week has been somewhat of an emotionally roller coaster. I am not at one fork, but several. I can tell my Prince is beckoning me into a season of depending upon Him more then ever before. These choices are just the beginning. The other issues is some of them are timing issues. As I try to discern timing for the different decisions, I feel like I am spinning around in circles until I am dizzy and can't tell one from another. I want to run ahead of myself and jump into the season that is four steps ahead of me.

The major fork is the job fork {is it bad that I am picturing a fork stuck into a resume?}. A fork that most people come to multiple times in there life usually. In the past it has not been so crucial for me to find a job, but this time around I need to find a job. Money is dwindling and as I check my bank account the panic begins to well up in me. My parents came to me and informed me that it was time for this Princess to move toward financial independence. {I did my best to buck up and accept the adult responsibility that I knew was coming} The irony is I knew it was coming. God has been preparing me for it through conversations with different people in my life. {imagine that??} Now I cannot say that I entirely disagree with them. I can't depend on them forever and honestly do not want to. I think there is a time and a place for a child to leave their parents. This happens to be my moment. Looking for a job as a "soon to be graduate" is challenging. I don't quite have that piece of paper to prove I did something for four {almost five} years. Not to mention I look in the mirror and I can't picture what I see myself doing. So I wait, for God to slap me with divine revelation. And yet somehow I don't foresee it looking like that. {dang it}

The other issue is this Princess is antsy. You know when you need/want something so badly that you are anxious to make the next step? But then you look and there isn't even a choice yet?? Yup, that is where I am at. I am in a place where I do not even have a job opportunity so I do not even have a choice. So I am trying to be patient and wait. I am trying to be patient and pray. Both things that I think are important, but the pressure of having it figured out is getting to me. And then God spoke to me. Not it an audible booming voice, but through His Words. The shot straight to my heart like an arrow straight from Him.

Isaiah 43:1-2 says "But now, thus says the Lord, who created you, O Jacob, And He who formed you, O Israel: 'Fear not, for I have redeemed you, I have called you by name; You are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you."

The redemption of my life is something I can see clearly. Just looking at that shows me His love. I adore that He calls me His. He whispers "Erin, you are mine." Eeek {must be the single girl in me-butterflies}. But the next part is what really gets me. "When I pass through the waters" He promises that they will NOT overflow me. Right now I feel pretty in over my head. I feel like the flood waters have rushed in and I am swimming, struggling towards the surface. But He says He will be with me. Ah!! My Prince carrying me through the flood {more like coming in with a life boat}and walking me through the fire. So tonight I am resting in the peace that He is there leading me through what's to come. My Prince will not let me drown.

So as I wait to play ennie, mennie, minie moe, I will anticipate that He will lead me down the right fork {resume included}...

No comments:

Post a Comment